Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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