forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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