Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
