OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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