I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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