we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
