You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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