have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
