Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I will die if light touches me.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
