No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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