Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
