then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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