yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
