i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
