if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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