Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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