no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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