the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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