Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
