dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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