The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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