I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
