summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
