Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Bring me that man meat
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
