Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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