so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
