Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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