i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
