If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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