He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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