I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
