May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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