do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
