I'm gonna have a badass scar
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
