when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
