Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
