Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
