my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize