I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize