found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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