We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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