So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
