tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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