How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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