"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
