I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So many bounce houses so little time
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
