We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
