I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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