I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
