All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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