drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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