there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
