Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
