planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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