so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
