Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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