I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
