I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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