What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
